Marshall Madness
by WellThisHappened
Summary: Clyde Marshall had a good life: the family owned bed and breakfast was functioning well, Cody was doing amazing in his diner, Charlie was in prison... Wait, excuse me? And that's just the beginning. But when Charlie decides to get Clyde some free Hetalia Units as a late birthday present, things tend to get noisier and weirder in this quiet little town.
1. Enter Marshall's

_This is not how I wanted to spend my Sunday morning._ Clyde Kenton Marshall thought while staring down at the familiar county officer.

"I'm here to pick up my sister." Clyde stated to the officer behind the counter.

"Hey, Clyde. So it was your turn, huh?" Officer Stevens asked as he filled out Charlie's release forms.

"Yes, sir." Clyde replied, hands in hoodie pocket. "What _exactly_ did she do this time?"

"Take a look." Stevens handed a file to Clyde and pushed up from his desk. "I'll go get her."

Clyde was silently reading the forms of Charlotte Marshall's detainment. After a few lines, all emotion was wiped and the kid's face was blank. The oldest Marshall Child snapped the folder closed before trying very hard not to slam it back on the counter.

As Clyde was writing out a check to pay for Charlie's fines, said girl was brought into the room. Her hands were cuffed behind her back and half of her head was shaved. She was wearing a baggy grey jumpsuit, probably something that the station kept for purposes such as this.

"Aye~!" She drawled upon seeing her sibling. "Thanks for bustin' me out, Clyde. I was hopin' that it would be you and not Cody." Charlie flipped her ginger hair out of her face and grinned toothily.

"Hello, Charlotte." Clyde greeted, hands clenched into fists in the hoodie pocket.

Charlie visibly froze.

"Uh…" Clyde never said her full name unless…

Charlie gulped and scratched the back of her neck, Clyde watching with a blank face.

"You're mad, aren't yah?" Charlie questioned as Stevens unlocked her cuffs.

"Oh, infuriated." Clyde then turned to Stevens. "Sorry for all the trouble she caused. Hopefully it won't happen again." Clyde pulled out a coupon for a free two-day stay at a bed and breakfast. "We'll be going now." Clyde almost growled out. Clyde then walked out the door but Charlie remained frozen.

"Is there any way that I could stay here?" She asked, looking at the officer with pleading eyes.

"Sorry kid," Stevens picked up the coupon before slipping it into his pocket. "And good luck."

~0~

The car was silent.

No music was playing. Neither of the people in the car were talking. Charlie was terrified to say something. In fact, she actually sat in the back instead of the passenger.

"I'm dead aren't I?" Charlie asked, taking a crowbar to the silence.

"No." Clyde responding, keeping eyes locked on the road.

"No?" Charlie questioned, a little freaked out. She wasn't getting a lecture?

"No, you are not dead. And I am not going to lecture you, no lectures." Clyde added after seeing Charlie's face in the mirror and knowing what she must be thinking.

 _Mind reader!_ Charlie thought with narrowed eyes.

"I'm not a mind reader." Clyde said calmly, fighting to keep the smirk off. It was always fun when Charlie was this predictable based on her expressions.

"Witchcraft!" Charlie shouted, startling Clyde.

The car swerved a little bit at the sudden noise but quickly straightened out.

"Don't do that." The oldest Marshall yelled even louder than the youngest.

"Sorry…"

After a few moments of silence, someone spoke up.

"I just… want… to know why you did it." Clyde stated, trying to find the correct words that would get the point across.

"I was drunk." Charlie admitted.

She knew what was about to happen. And the little fart even said no lectures.

"You ran, half-naked, around a Walmart parking lot, at two in the morning, _screaming_ , "We don't need no education". That statement, in itself, is a contradiction, yah know?" Clyde didn't even looked back at Charlie, who was trying to make herself as small as possible.

"It's from a song." She replied weakly.

"I know," Clyde commented. "It's one of my favorites."

"Sorry..."

Clyde had pulled into a space that was at the back of a diner but neither of them got out of the car.

 _Lovely view of the bins._ Clyde thought staring at the nearly overflowing garbage containers.

"I don't want apologies." Clyde said emotionlessly, taking the keys out of the ignition.

"Well, what do you want?" Charlie yelled. "Please just tell me." She hated the look Clyde was giving her, like she wasn't worth showing emotion.

Clyde didn't respond.

"Clyde!" Charlie tried again. "Clyde please talk to me. I wanna know what you want from me!"

"For you to grow up!" Clyde retorted even louder, mask snapping like a rubber band. The oldest Marshall's face looked absolutely livid. This conversation has been building up for a while. "You are 21 years-old for crying out loud, yet you are still acting like a child! Cody has the diner, I have the bed and breakfast, you have this whole wide world set in front of you and yet, you choose to _party_? Charlotte Chelsea Marshall, we have been trying so hard to help you out and you do _this_? You have so much potential, _why_ are you wasting it?"

Clyde couldn't understand why Charlie was doing this, wasting her life away, not growing up and moving on with her life. Right now an honest answer was all that was truly wanted and needed for the oldest Marshall.

"Because what's the point?" Charlie screamed with a tear slipping down her cheek, not caring that Clyde saw it. _Why can't you see that?_ "You guys are so amazing, and wonderful, and successful; what does it matter that I'm not like you and Cody? I never will be, so why bother? It doesn't matter anyway." _I'm just a screw-up, no matter what I do it pales in comparison to you two._

All her life it was "Clyde's done this, Cody's done that, oh did you here that they both own a business, Charlie what have you done? … Charlotte, you received your black belt in kung fu? Hasn't Cody been practicing wing chun for seven years? … Have you heard that Clyde knows _five_ languages? Five! Wait, Charlotte, what language did you study again?"

"You… freaking idiot!" Clyde's voice cracked. _Did she really think this little of herself_? "Do you really believe that?"

Charlotte meekly nodded.

"'Right den." Clyde opened the door and slammed it shut before opening Charlotte's door.

Charlie's eyes narrowed a bit. _That sounded Irish. And Clyde only goes Irish when-_

"What are you-?"

Clyde physically lifted the youngest Marshall out of the car and pushed her against the brick wall. Charlotte was freaking out, she knew that Clyde was strong from using the gym in the B & B every day, but dang!

"Listen 'ere, ye li'l shit." Clyde Marshall growled, pointing a finger and completely slipping into an Irish accent.

Charlie could see the fires of hell in her older sibling's eyes.

It was one thing to use her full name but the situation just rose to a whole other level when Clyde cursed. Clyde never curses, ever. It was a basic fact of nature.

The moon goes around the earth. The sun rises in the east. People stress about things that have most likely been forgotten or overlooked. Clyde Marshall does not curse.

Those were the simple truths of the universe.

"Don't ye dare, fer even a minute, tink dat yer beneath us." If Charlie wasn't so beyond petrified, she might have smiled at her older sibling's dialect. It has been a while since Clyde had gone Irish. "We all got er problems. Mehself included. Look at meh. I will _never_ be the same af'er what happen'." Charlie looked down at the oldest sibling, a strange pity welling up even though she hadn't cause what happened to Clyde.

"But that duhn't matter." Clyde recognized the Irish and quickly coughed to cover it up and revert back to normal. "Because I don't care what people think, and you shouldn't either."

Charlie didn't say anything as Clyde released the hand from her shirt collar.

"Especially what mum and da think," Clyde said flippantly while sitting down on the side walk.

 _I finally figured it out, Charlie._ Clyde thought, the blank expression back on. _Took me a while, but I got it… Cody might've known earlier though but was waiting for me to confront yah. What a pansy._

"How do you know its mum and dad?" Charlotte asked.

"Who else could it be?"

 _'_ _You're not like meh and Cody?'_ Clyde thought, thinking back to what Charlotte had said. _Who are you to say that? You're not like me, Charlie. You and Cody aren't like me. Out of the three of us, I'd wager that I'm the most messed up._

It was silent between the Marshall siblings before Charlotte finally sat down next to Clyde.

"I'm sorry." Charlotte repeated, picking up a tiny rock a throwing it.

Clyde resignedly signed.

"How many times are you gonna say that?"

"As soon as you forgive me, I'll stop." Charlie looked down at the clothes the police station had given her.

 _I'm seriously keeping these._ She thought while pulling on the sleeves. _They're just like sweats._

"I forgave yah about ten minutes ago." Clyde couldn't help but grin cheekily.

"You butt!" Charlotte punched her older sibling in the shoulder with all the strength she could muster while sitting down.

Clyde laughed when Charlotte cradled her hand afterwards.

 _You don't wanna be fightin' me pipsqueak._ Clyde thought, shoulder not even hurting.

"My fighting lessons are still on the table." Clyde reminded.

"No thanks, I don't want to die." Charlotte massaged her knuckles but the idea stuck in her head.

"How's the online college?" Clyde questioned, trying to keep the conversation rolling. Charlie was taking a few courses online but in a few days, she'd head back to her university.

"Microbiology is an ass."

"Hey…"

"Sorry, a butt. I should've have gone into business like you two."

"You won't be saying that in a few years when you've made the cure for cancer."

"That's not gonna be me."

"I'm serious. I wanna be mentioned in some speeches, yah hear?"

"What if I don't?"

"Then I'll run up and across the stage, screaming 'We don't need no education' while half-naked."

It took exactly five seconds after that comment and an eyebrow bounce from Clyde for them to both start laughing.

"You wouldn't!"

"Yes, I would!"

"No!"

"Right as you say, 'I would like to thank my family', I would be already stripped and on the stage."

"Stop it!" Charlotte was holding onto her stomach, tears in her eyes.

"Maybe I'd wear some roller-skates too." Clyde supplied and Charlie laughed even harder. "Have a boom box on my shoulder."

Charlie fell off the sidewalk and took gasping breaths. Clyde hit the pavement repeatedly.

"I'd even get Cody to do it too. He'd run across the stage while waving around some sparklers." Clyde added.

After a few moments their laughter died down.

The back door to the diner opened and Clyde's identical twin stepped out.

"What are you two doing on the sidewalk?" Cody asked, readjusting his duffel bag on his shoulder.

Clyde and Charlie looked at each other before busting out laughing again.

"What the heck?" Cody asked while stepping over his oldest sibling's cackling form. "I'll be in the car. Hurry up and stop dying, you hyenas."

~0~

Charlie was working on a quiz in Microbiology on Clyde's computer in the kitchen, Cody was drumming his fingers to a song he was listening to in his room and yelling out certain parts, and Clyde was checking out a guest in the hallway.

"Thank you for visiting, Ms. Hoffman. Did you enjoy your stay?" Clyde asked, while carrying both of the lady's suitcases in one hand and holding a clipboard in the other.

"Yes, I did. Oh, the food you made was simply delicious, your brother might have some competition." She replied while fixing the sunhat on her head.

"I just know how to make certain dishes, ma'am." Clyde handed the clipboard to the woman while opening the front door. "If you could just sign out while I take your bags out to your car."

"Of course."

While Clyde was handling the last customer, Charlie had finished up her quiz and was surfing for a movie to watch online.

"Seen; seen; ooh, Cody'd like this one, he's a fan of romance movies even if he won't admit it; I can't stomach horror; is that a cartoon, no that's anime, Clyde likes that; seen; seen; that's a- I thought this website doesn't get pop-ups!"

A brightly colored pop-up with various guys posing in front of an Earth showed up, taking up more than three quarters of the computer screen.

Charlie tried clicking out of it but it wouldn't let her. She tried to go back to the original page behind it, also a no go.

"'Free Hetalia Units'?" Charlie read from the pop-up. "Isn't Hetalia a show that Clyde watches or somethin'? And the heck's a unit? Okay, Mr. pop-up, you have my attention."

She clicked the 'okay' button, since it was the only thing working.

A paragraph and order form showed up on the screen.

"'Greetings Clyde Marshall'," Charlie started reading the paragraph aloud. "That's sounds weird, who says greetings? Ha, they think I'm Clyde. Anyway…"

"'You have been recommended by various entities and carefully chosen to receive free HETALIA UNITS!' -and a good capital day to you too- 'Please know that once you fill out this order form, you will start receiving your HETALIA UNIT(S)' -again with the capitalization- 'between a time frame of two-seven business days. Your order can only be cancelled in the case of extreme emergencies.' –Good to know- 'Also know that your HETALIA UNITS' –they have a capital fetish, it's a fact- 'will belong solely to you and no one else. These HETALIA UNITS will thus respond to you before anyone else. With each HETALIA UNIT, you will be provided a manual on that certain unit. This manual will provide you with basic information on your unit and other information we at Flying Mint Bunny Inc. consider very valuable. If you have any questions about your units, wish to purchase something for our store, or would like to exchange a unit, do not hesitate to give us a call. A copy of this agreement will be emailed to you, as well as your order form once it is completed. Please note that this is completely for real and not a joke. Thank you for your patronage!' –Oh, ho, ho; that's a _fancy_ word- 'Sincerely, Flying Mint Bunny Incorporated'… Well then."

 _Well, Clyde does like free stuff._ Charlie thought while her finger hovered over the accept button under the paragraph. _And Hetalia is an anime that Clyde likes. I saw some stuff that said Hetalia on Clyde's YouTube history. Plus, I didn't get the green giant a birthday present last time… It's settled._

Charlie clicked the accept button.

"Happy Birthday, Clyde." She said before filling out the order form.

"Name? Clyde Marshall. Age? 23. Gender? Male, Female, or Nun yah business? Nun yah business, perverts. Type of unit preferred? Original, 2p, Historical, Chibi, or Random? Let's go random. _Form_ of unit preferred? Original, Nyo, Neko, Mochi, or Random? I understand two of those words… We're doing random again. Place of residence? Type, type, typity type. E-mail? Notgoingtosayitaloud . Blah, blah, blah… and done!" Charlie finished up the order form and clicked submit.

'Thank you!' That was the writing under the image of a cute green rabbit with wings.

"Alright, time for a movie." Charlie was now able to click out of the pop-up. "Ooh! New mystery movie? Oh, heck yes!"

"Right then," Clyde said, twirling Mrs. Hoffman's keys. "That was my last customer of tourist season. Now I can finally enjoy a little break."

~0~

 **A/N Yes, I have decided to jump on the train that is the Hetalia Unit craze, if it's even considered a craze. I already have in mind a few Hetalia characters I would like to include, but the rest is up to you readers. If you want a certain character in this story, message me or tell me in the reviews.**

 **However, I am still new to the fandom so please be patient with me. I would love to discuss adding in a character with any of you and it would really help this story.**

 **Updates will hopefully be once a week on either Friday night or Saturday afternoon.**

 **Thanks for reading, see yah.**


	2. Goodbye and a Brother?

"You sure you will be alright?" Clyde asked, staring down at Charlie while she shrugged on her galaxy backpack.

"I'm sure," Charlie replied with a grin up at her older siblings. _How and why are they so tall?_ She thought with a mental sigh.

The Marshall twins were both blessed with a height of 6'0, while Charlie stood at exactly 5'0… She really got the short end of that stick.

"Be sure to call us if you need anything, okay?" Cody added while nervously tapping his fingers on his thigh.

"I will."

"Alright-y then," Cody responded.

"We'll miss you." Clyde put in after a few seconds of silence. Goodbye's were never easy for members of the Marshall family.

"Oh yeah, definitely. Visit anytime you'd like," Cody said, glad that they didn't drift into an awkward silence.

"Just call first, okay?" Clyde reminded. "Don't show up out of the blue and expect me to take you in without good reason."

"I got it, King." Charlie answered, mentioning Clyde's nickname so that her older sibling would smile. Clyde gave the youngest sibling a grin, even though her plan was pretty obvious.

"That looks like your bus." Cody noticed as the blue travel bus with the white stripe down the middle turned the corner.

"Looks like. Bye, Code." Charlie hugged Cody, the boy giving his sister a tight squeeze. "Bye, Kent." Charlie hugged her oldest sibling like a koala would a tree. Clyde gave a reassuring squeeze before ruffling up the girl's hair. "Hey!" Charlie shrieked before she hit Clyde's chest lightly.

"See yah, pipsqueak," Clyde said, half-raising a hand in farewell.

"Later, squirt," Cody added, hands stuck in his blue jacket pockets.

"Bye, nerds. Stay cool!" With that, Charlie hopped on the shuttle bus back to her college.

The Marshall twins stared at the bus for a little bit neither of them speaking before the youngest broke the silence.

"Why… why did she shave half her head?" Cody asked while glancing at his older sibling.

"I honestly do not know." Clyde answered with a 'what can yah do' expression.

"Think she'll be okay?" Cody questioned.

"Yeah…" Nod from Clyde.

"Did she seem shorter to you?"

"She's just really small."

"Legally not a midget."

"Just by one inch."

"So close…"

"Did she call us nerds?" Clyde asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Yep."

"Should we get back at her?"

"Maybe later. Tourist season's over so you're free, but I still have work to do."

"Charlie's right. You are a nerd." Clyde then walked back to the car, not waiting for Cody to say something else.

"Aye!"

~0~

"Well… Cody's gone into work and won't be back for a while." Clyde said aloud while making a list of things to do this week and pacing through the first floor. "I've already catalogued my profits, and as long as everything stays good at the diner, I'll only need to work somewhere for above minimum wage before I start getting people again. I still have to go through the rooms; change the bed sheets, clean, vacuum, dust, and make sure nothing broke. Didn't 201 say that their toilet wasn't working? Have to fix that. Charlie said something about ordering me a birthday present, said the order form was emailed to me. It should arrive sometime soon, whatever it is. Put on clothes?"

Clyde paused in the living room that was adjacent to the dining room. Only a pair of red flannel boxers and a gray undershirt were worn by the eldest Marshall.

"Nah! I'm not going anywhere for a while, plus nobody's here. Okay. Check email. Call mum and da, see how they're doing. Reapply for scholarships. Video chat with Mey-Leen. Weed eat the backyard. Do I want to start a garden? Eh… Maybe, I'll talk to Cody about it. Maybe I can provide some fresh vegetables for him to use in cooking." Clyde continued, but stopped to take a sip of some tea on the long dining room table. "Ah~. That's good. Right-"

 _DING DONG!_

"Answer the door." Clyde added and placed the hot cup of tea down on the table.

"Yes?" The oldest Marshall said after opening the front door, still having not put any more clothes on.

"Are you Clyde Marshall?" A girl in a brown uniform and matching hat with a green flying bunny on it asked. She looked down and saw that Clyde wasn't wearing any jeans or anything and quickly looked to her left. "Oh, gosh."

"Yes, that's me," Clyde answered, not even fazed.

"Um… you need to… um…" Clyde waited patiently as the girl stuttered over her words, her face turning bright red as she tried to look at Clyde again and again.

"Julie?" Clyde asked, the girl's head shot up. "What is it?"

"How… how did you know my name?" Julie looked up with wide eyes at the six-foot even Marshall.

"Your name tag," Clyde replied, gesturing to the nametag that read 'Hiya, my name's JULIE'.

Neither of them said anything for a few moments.

"Do you need emergencies services?" Clyde asked, seriously about to go call 911. _There will be nobody dying on my property!_

"No!" Julie shouted, making Clyde blink in surprise. "Sign this please!" Julie shoved an electronic clipboard in Clyde's direction before running back to a van that also had an image of a green winged rabbit. "I'll go get it!"

Clyde and signed the clipboard as Julie came back with a humongous wooden crate on a moving dolly and started wheeling it up.

"I'll just put this inside." Julie said, swiping the board as she walked past Clyde.

Once it was in the living room, Julie threw a pamphlet at Clyde before sprinting out and slamming the door shut behind her.

"Thank you for your patronage!"

"Okay... Why did she say 'patronage'?" Clyde stared at the giant wooden crate just sitting in the living room. The crate was probably eight feet tall and large enough to hold a hippo.

Clyde looked down at the pamphlet and let out a resigned sigh.

"I know what's going on here," Clyde said flopping on the couch in front of the crate. "Freakin' Hetalia Units," Clyde mumbled into the couch cushions.

 _Out of all the people, why me_? Clyde thought while sitting up and gesturing with the pamphlet.

 _I mean, this normally happens to teenage girls who are super obsessed with the show and live in a mansion or somethin'. They live with their parents who are abusive, or the parents aren't there. The girl also has satanic friends or something (these friends for some reason live in the mansion with her), or no friends at all, and has no siblings. The girl also had a bad childhood, basically shrieks at everything a unit does, passes out for some reason, and says the f-word_ far _too often my for liking. Or the protagonist tries to shag every unit that comes through the mansion door._

 _That's not me._ Clyde thought with an air of finality.

 _I only watched the free clips on YouTube. Yes, I thought about getting the series but was too lazy to. And sure, I might have read a few fanfics, but I never_ really _got into it. Plus, I'm 23, almost 24, pretty sure I'm not a teenager anymore._

Clyde got off the couch, deep in thought. The oldest Marshall then started pacing to and fro and mouthing the some of the thought words, not even noticing the action.

 _And okay, this place is big, but it's a bed and breakfast, not even remotely a mansion. Heck, some of my guests were a little pissy because they didn't have their own bathrooms and had to use the hall one. Besides, this place was either gonna be bought or torn down when we moved here and nothing else was for sale that was in livable condition. There's enough room for about twenty people to live in comfortably, maybe more if people were cool with bunk beds (they weren't, but bunk beds are cool). It also needs some repairs, too, but I can work on that later._

 _My parents aren't abusive, a little expectant, but not horrible. I had an okay childhood, I guess. I don't think my friends are satanic, that's not normally something that comes up in conversation. Wait, are they satanic?_

Clyde then thought about the group of people that were considered friends.

 _Monica owns a flower shop and visits her grandpa in the nursing home on Saturdays. Her parents run a hardware store here in town so if things don't work out on the botanical end, she has something to fall back on. Truthfully, she's a fraidy cat but a sweet girl. I once saw her jump out an open window to get away from a black widow spider. So, she's out._

 _Phillip works at a day-care and sometimes tries to teach the little kids French. He can't stomach blood, and will dramatically faint into my arms even if he sees some, or not, I personally think he just likes to faint. He can't handle his liquor either, New Year's was a testament to that. He's also out._

 _Leslie is an assistant librarian, but training to be an ophthalmologist. She was raised on a farm about fifteen minutes from town that her parents own. She wrote a psychology paper on_ _Jeffrey Dahmer once in college… She's a maybe._

 _And Kevin works as a waiter, is in grad school, and has been married to his husband for two years. I met him a few times, pretty sure his name is Zachary or somethin'; he's a nice guy. They're thinking of adoptin' and are currently holding various arguments over wall and accent colors, they even dragged me into one. I didn't know the difference between maroon and burgundy before, but I do now! Yeah, they're also out._

 _Joyce is an elementary PE coach and teaches fitness classes on the weekends. Some people might think she's crazy, but she just_ really _gets into football. I remember when I actually had to hold her back from jumping on the teenage referee because he gave one of her players a red card for tripping one of the other team's strikers. Plus, she's in Canada visiting family at the moment. She's out as well._

 _No, I don't think any of my friends are Satanists._

"I have two siblings. One, a twin I get confused for a lot. The other, a short sister who I just figured out has an inferiority complex." Clyde didn't even notice the transition between thinking and speaking.

"Personally, I don't shriek. I'm not a fan of horror movies and if someone scares me they get injured in some way. The only time I fainted was once and it was from low blood sugar. I am not one for cursing, though I have been told that I let a few swears slip when I'm mad. Charlie, Cody, and even all my friends can testify that I do not tolerate cursing anywhere near me. I once flipped a guy over a table at a bar because he called Monica the term for a female dog." Clyde continued.

"Then there's the final issue. Truly, I think I would get sick if even thought about-" The sentence ended abruptly as Clyde's face took a greenish tint. The oldest Marshall tried to finish the previous sentence but started gagging.

After a few dry heaves into the kitchen sink and a calming sip of chai tea, Clyde was finally back to normal and continued pacing.

"So, why do I now have a unit, or- Oh, who am I kidding, I'm probably getting more." Clyde realized that carpet was ruffled from the pacing.

"Wait, Charlie said she got me a… birthday present… I swear if she got me Hetalia Units…" Clyde sighed and dragged a hand through the ginger hair that all the Marshall children share. "That girl… She better have not charged them to me."

Clyde sat up and blinked at the crate.

"Might as well start the crazy." Clyde got up and walked towards the crate. "This is stupid, this is stupid, this is stupid."

Clyde looked down at the pamphlet again and sighed once more. "Why me?" Clyde groaned.

'Congratulations, you are now the owner of a MATHIAS KØHLER unit.'

"Right then." Clyde placed the manual on the couch and went out of the room.

About a minute later, the oldest Marshall came back with a polished crow bar.

 _Thank you, Monica, for the friend/ family discount!_ Clyde thought while using the crow bar. _15% off all purchases really helped me out… I should visit Mr. and Mrs. Evans sometime, take them out to dinner or cook for them. Something to show my appreciation. I'll call Monica and see if they are busy this Friday or ask whenever they're free._

Clyde popped the front open and threw the crow bar on the couch too. The Marshall twin then stared down at the person in the crate.

Literally, there was a person in the crate. A person who looked a lot like Denmark. The guy had the red shirt and black tie, the black overcoat, the black hat, even the wild, blonde hair down pact.

"Wait, is he breathing?" Clyde asked, while sticking a hand under the unit's nose.

Nothing.

"Oh, crud." Clyde dove for the manual and quickly turned to the page on how to wake him up. "'Yank on his tie and call loudly for him'. That's it?" Clyde flipped to the first page, not reading the rest of the instructions. "What can I call him? 'Denmark, Danmark, Den, Mathias, or Brother', right then." The Marshall dropped the manual on the couch, not bothering to read the rest of it. Bad habit.

Clyde then walked up to the unit and pulled harshly on his tie, yanking him up. The unit's eyes jerked open and he stumbled to his feet.

"Hey, Denmark! You alive? Mathias, you weren't breathing! Hello?" Clyde shouted at the unit after letting go of his tie.

Mathias was rubbing his neck and staring at the coffee table with a blank expression on his face. Clyde looked at the coffee table as well.

 _Is there something on the table?_ The oldest Marshall thought before noticing a faint stain lined into the wood. It was very faint, like someone had tried really to scrub it up before it stained, but failed.

 _How did that happen?_ Clyde sighed. _I'm gonna have to get another coffee table, aren't I?_ The Marshall twin turned back to the unit who was still gazing at the table. _He hasn't spoken yet._

"Den? Excuse me?" Clyde waved a hand in front of the unit's face. "Uh, you want me to call you Brother or somethin'?"

 _That_ got his attention.

"You'd call me Brother?" Denmark asked while looking up at his new owner.

"Sure, I don't see why not." Clyde shrugged.

"Call me Brother, please."

"Brother, now would you-" Clyde was cut off as the unit freaking attacked. Denmark leaped at his new owner and tightly hugged the 23 year-old.

 _Mother Mary on a boat!_ Clyde thought while being squeezed by the overexcited Dane. _What is happening?_

"I'll be the best brother ever." Mathias proclaimed, not letting go. "And this time, my owner's going to be my brother too. What's your name?"

Clyde froze at that. The Denmark unit was still cuddling the oldest Marshall Child.

"My name's Clyde Marshall. And I can't be your brother." Clyde answered.

"Why not?" Mathis looked up at the taller-than-him owner with watery eyes.

"Because I'm a girl."

~0~

 **A/N What? Yes, Clyde's a female. And do you know how hard it is to write when you're trying not to give away your main character's gender? It's, as my friend would put it, more difficult than battling Sans on Genocide run.**

 **Moving on, multiple characters are still on the table, PM me or leave your request in the reviews and I'll get back to you on how to work that character into the story.**

 **Thanks for reading, see yah later.**


	3. Dealing with the Dane

**A/N First of all, let me say how sorry I am for this being late! My computer crashed a few weeks ago and I lost ALL of my documents, it sounds funny but it wasn't considering I had a term paper due two days later.**

 **Anyway, I'm having to re-type all of my chapters that I have written for this story so far. Seven beautiful chapters down the drain!**

 **Moving on, thank you so much for the people that are following and** **favoriting** **this story, it really means a lot! Also, if you have any characters you want to see involved in this story, PM me or review who it is.**

 **Alright, enough bolded words that most people have skipped over. See yah later!**

~0~

"You're serious?" Mathias looked at his new owner with a suspicious expression while sitting on the couch. Clyde sat across from him in a wooden rocking chair.

"Yes, I'm a female," Clyde answered, taking another sip of her tea and staring into the cup. Mentally shivering as she remembered those etiquette classes from years ago.

' _Look into your cup when you take your fill, or you will most likely surely spill._ ' Clyde could hear Ms. Morgan's voice in her head. That woman had a thing about rhyming… The oldest Marshall smiled lightly. _Charlie would call it a fetish._

"Hm… I don't believe you." Mathias poked the oldest Marshall in the shoulder twice.

"I know my own gender."

"Are you a tranny?" Clyde paused and took a deep breath.

 _Stupid Danish moron._ Clyde thought while clutching the tea cup. She dropped her hand behind her back and dug her nails into her palm. _1 and 2 and 3 and 4. And… I'm calm… No one has ever been as calm as I am at this very_ second _._

"Why would you think I'm a tranny, Mathias?" Clyde asked with a blank face and drank her tea with her pinky raised.

 _Don't punch the Dane… This tea is not working. And I didn't get any chamomile… No, I'm calm. Trees swaying, ocean breezes, freshly cooked pancakes…_

"Well…" the personification of Denmark then started listing off reasons on his fingers. "Your name, broad shoulders, short hair. You're really tall, you are also pretty muscular though not as much as me, and you don't have a chest at all. All things considered, I am _positive_ you are not a girl." Mathias then grinned like he just won the lottery.

 _Tell Mother Nature that._

"Those are some good points," Clyde conceded and put down her teacup before continuing. "But when I came to this country, I chose my name, knowing that it was commonly a male name. Broad shoulders? Genetics, blame my parents for that. I cut my hair because I was spending a lot of money on shampoo, money that I could be saving. Also, short hair is easier to manage.

"My tallness? My grandfather is 6'4, do I need to explain anymore? I am muscular because I having been working out each day for that past few months consecutively. And it is a lot easier for males to develop muscles more quickly and more prominent than females. No chest?" Clyde seemed to pale a bit at having mentioned that. "… There's a reason for that."

"What is it?" Mathias asked, oblivious to the uncomfortable topic or just choosing to ignore it.

Clyde stared down at her clenched fists in her lap.

"Clyde?" Mathias called, she hadn't responded for a while.

Her head snapped up.

"Sorry, you must be a level seven friend to unlock my tragic backstory." Clyde then stood up from her chair and collected her teacup and to-do list.

Mathias got up and followed his owner into her kitchen.

"Why are you following me?" Clyde asked, while placing the cup in the sink.

"Because I want to know the story," Mathias replied honestly.

"No," Clyde responded, and went back to her list.

"Please, Clyde?"

"No." Clyde turned her back and started walking back to the living room.

"C'mon just tell me. I'll take you out drinking with me."

"The offer's appreciated and I might take you up on it."

"Yes!" Mathias whispered, thinking he cracked her.

"But… no," Clyde responded, smiling a little when she saw his shoulders droop.

"Little brother, please!" Mathias whined.

"I'm a girl. And the answer is still no."

"Then you leave me no choice." Mathias narrowed his eyes with a grin on his face.

"Will you finally drop it?"

"Nope!" Mathias jumped on Clyde's back. "Tell me the story!"

The Marshall Child swayed a little bit before she straightened and continued with her list. Mathias locked his legs around her waist and clasped his hands under her neck.

"What are you doing?" Mathias questioned with a confused expression as his owner didn't even react to him hanging onto her.

"Trying to figure what I need to do this week," Clyde answered.

It was confusing. A lot of the owners before Clyde would just tell him whatever it was, ignore him, or lock him in a room with something to do until he forgot about his question. But Clyde was different. She wasn't backing down and giving him answers, she also wasn't ignoring him, and she hasn't shoved into a closet with Legos or Norway… yet.

"What do you have to do?" Mathias asked, sticking the other question away for later pestering.

"A lot of things," Clyde answered while starting to walk up the stairs.

"Like what?" _Why is she climbing the stairs?_ Mathias thought with a head tilt.

"Apparently answer your questions," Clyde stated while placing her hand on the wooden stair rail.

 _Good gracious, he's heavy._ She realized. _Why did I think going up stairs with a fully grown guy on my back was a good idea?_

"I'm not apologizing for my curiosity."

"I wasn't asking for an apology." Clyde paused in her accent up the stairs. "Can you please get off of me though? You're hurting my back."

"Sorry!" Denmark shouted and literally jumped off Clyde. Surprisingly, he didn't trip and twist his ankle on a stair when he landed. Clyde stumbled forward before turning to face Mathias.

 _Oh God, I hurt my owner. I didn't mean it, I swear. What if she sends me back like the others?_ Mathias thought while stepping back down the stairs with wide eyes.

"It's alright," Clyde replied honestly, noticing how he was acting.

 _Like a caged animal_ , she noted. _A complete 180 from earlier… What caused it?_

"Mathias," Clyde started and tucked the to-do list under her arm. She walked down the steps and stood in front of Denmark, actually crouching to be eye-level with him. "It's fine, you didn't mean it. You did nothing wrong. Understand?"

Mathias nodded uncertainly.

 _She could still send me back_. He thought gravely.

 _What is going on in his head?_ Clyde thought before she came up with the perfect way to get his mind off of it. Whatever 'it' was.

"Do you want to grocery shop with me?"

~0~

Clyde pushed the cart, with a fully grown personification of Denmark in it, into the store.

Mathias sat in the cart with the grocery list in his lap and elbows on the sides of the cart like it was a throne.

A little old couple stood a few feet away. The lady glanced up every now and then from the squash to look at the weird pair of adults. The old man beside her just stared at them before turning to look down at his wife.

"Why can't I ride in the shopping cart, Martha?" He asked indignantly; as if riding in the shopping cart was a basic human right that he had been denied.

Martha slapped her husband on the shoulder and rolled her eyes before facing the squashes once more.

"Why exactly am I pushing you in the cart?" Clyde questioned while dropping a bag of long carrots near Mathias's feet.

"Because you're a good little brother," Denmark answered with a large grin. He looked down at the list. "Next on here is lettuce."

 _No, that's not the reason why._ Clyde thought while looking over the various lettuce assortments. _You literally jumped in the cart when I got it and refused to get. I just saw no point in arguing and started shopping._

"It doesn't matter," Clyde muttered to herself.

Mathias scooted the cart forward bit by bit until he was right next to Clyde. He too started searching the lettuces before he got bored.

"What are you looking for?" Denmark asked after exactly fourteen seconds of lettuce watching.

"Trying to determine which deal is better," Clyde mumbled half-heartedly and in her native accent, not even realizing the words were coming out of her mouth.

Mathias blanched when he heard the way she spoke.

 _That was… That sounded… Could she be part… that nationality?_ Denmark thought warily.

"Aye!" Clyde cried when she found the perfect head of lettuce, which startled the piss out of Mathias. "Here we are." She dropped the lettuce near the carrots and left the vegetable area.

Clyde turned down the aisle with various jams, jellies, spreads, and peanut butters. Instantly, she grabbed a large jar of strawberry jam and tossed it to Mathias. She rolled the cart to the peanut butter section and stopped right next to it.

"Hm…" Clyde hummed.

 _Personally, I like extra crunchy._ Clyde thought with a blank face _. But lately I have been feeling lazy._

Mathias stared at his owner with a curious expression. _She's a lot like Berwald._ He noted with a nod of confirmation. _Straightforward, not really bothered, and stoic… I wonder if he'll show up sometime soon._

"Mathias," Clyde crowed.

"Yeah?" Mathias replied, snapping to attention.

"Which one would you pick?" Clyde asked, holding up two different jars of peanut butter. "Extra crunchy or smooth?"

 _That's what she was thinking about? Peanut butter?_ Mathias thought before shrugging and answering.

"Why not both?" Denmark decided.

Clyde nodded in agreement.

"Right then." She handed the peanut butters to Mathias and started pushing the cart down the aisle.

Clyde looked over her should while walking.

 _Coast is clear._ She thought while spinning the cart around.

"Get ready." That was all she told Mathias.

Clyde took off running and about hallway down she hopped on the bar above the wheels and rode the rest of the way down.

"Whee!" Clyde drawled, passing the peanut butter once more.

"Woo Hoo!" Mathias yelled, lifting his arms up. "I'm King of the North."

 _Well, I'm the King of Ireland, so ha._ Clyde thought before hopping off the bar and walking once more. _No one suspects a thing._

"That was cool!" Mathias stated. "Can we do that again?" He asked, turning in the cart to look at Clyde.

"Whenever the aisle's empty," She answered, while checking out the tortilla chips.

"Why did you do it anyway? I wouldn't think someone like you would be childish."

Just when he thinks his owner is all stoic and Swede-like, she rides a shopping cart down a grocery aisle.

"What's the point in being grown up if you can't be a little childish?" Clyde questioned in reply.

"That's a good way to live life," Mathias commented.

"It's a quote from a television show."

"Ha!"

~0~

"Who the hell is this?" Cody asked as soon as he saw someone other than Clyde enter through the back door with groceries. Mathias placed his bags on the table while Clyde kicked the door closed.

Cody stood up from his seat at the kitchen table, most likely he was playing a game on his phone just seconds earlier, and tapped his foot expectantly. Clyde placed her bags on the countertop and started unloading.

"I'm/ He's Mathias." Both Denmark and Clyde answered at the same time.

"Nice to meet you," Cody snapped sarcastically before turning to face his sister. Clyde was placed the eggs in the fridge while trying to keep her grin off her face. "What's he doing here? I thought the only time you accept customers was tourist season."

"Well, he's not a customer." Clyde whipped around to her little brother who was exactly 1.2 centimeters (she measured) shorter than her. "He lives here."

" _What_?" Cody yelled.

"Really?" Mathias questioned, his eyes lighting up. It was always nice for units when their owners accepted them completely and allowed them to live in their own house.

On more than one occasion, an owner didn't have room, so he and a few other units were put in an apartment together. Then there were other times when the owner would insist on the units all living together under one roof. It sounds like a fun idea in theory, but having eight fully grown people living in a two-bedroom, one-bathroom house was not fun, at all.

Denmark even remembers one time that the bathroom was occupied and he really needed to go. Needless to say, after much whining and knocking (banging) on the bathroom door, he kicked it down. That action scared the soap off of Taiwan, who was in the shower at the time and was listening to music, and he got hit around by China for a bit; but when you gotta go, you gotta go. It was either kick down the door or go in the yard… And Mathias is very positive he made the right choice.

"Yeah," Clyde chimed in, opening a box of rice thins and eating one after the other.

"When was this decided? Who decided it?" Cody questioned, foot tapping even faster. Mathias looked at the Ginger Boy, who looked like a mirror image of his owner, and his foot.

 _Is… Is it going to fly off or something?_ He thought while watching the boy's foot wearingly.

"I decided it." Clyde checked the watch on her wrist. "And about two hours ago."

"Without me?" Cody exclaimed, hands flying out. Mathias jumped back to not be hit in the face and not-so-subtly hid behind Clyde a bit.

"Well, yes," Clyde replied. "This is my house."

"Oh!" Mathias yelled, dramatically wincing back. "You need to apply some aloe Vera to that burn."

Cody just stared at Mathias with an annoyed expression while Clyde didn't hide the smile on her face as she finished putting up the groceries by herself, seeing as the boys were too busy pissing each other off.

"I have to go get something," Clyde stated before leaving the room.

Mathias and Cody both awkwardly stood in their same spots for a few moments before anything happened.

"You look a lot like Clyde, you know that?" Mathias asked while pulling a chair out to sit on. He sat down in it backwards and folded his arms over the top of it, his ever-present grin still on his face.

"That could be because we're twins," Cody muttered before sitting down as well. He crossed his legs together and crossed his arms over his chest all while staring at the Dane who had invaded his home.

"So…" Denmark drawled out, tapping his hands on the chair. "Are we just gonna sit here in silence till Clyde gets back? Or… what?"

"Who are you?" Cody questioned in response, ignoring the personification of Denmark's question.

"Already told you, I'm Mathias."

"I know that. But who _are_ you?" Cody raised a hand when saw that Mathias was about to talk again. "Not your name- _you_. I know my big sister, she doesn't normally let random strangers live in our house, unless it's her tourist season or she has a valid reason… So, what I'm asking is, what makes you so special?"

"Probably the fact that he hasn't hit you yet," Clyde butted in as she entered the kitchen once more. Cody spun around in his chair to face her and Mathias's eyes lit up.

"How much did you hear?" Cody asked, standing up from the table. He automatically pushed his chair in; Momma Marshall had proper table manners drilled into her children since they could walk.

"Enough, and it seems that you've forgotten that I am older than you _and_ can make my own decisions." Clyde narrowed her eyes at her little brother. "Who I let into my home is my business."

"But-"

"Cody," Clyde placed a hand on his shoulder.

Cody looked at his sister for a moment, and unspoken conversation between the two of them. Mathias felt a little out of place here and was currently watching their argument like a spectator, he had even cracked open a bag of peanuts.

"Okay," Cody muttered before heading up to his room, grabbing an unopened box of fruit gummies that were sitting on the counter.

"Save me some," Clyde called out.

"Heck no!" Cody faint yelled was heard as he climbed the steps to his room.

Clyde sighed while shaking her head, she turned back to Mathias who froze when she looked at him.

"Peanut?" He offered while sticking the bag out to her.

"Sure," Clyde grabbed a handful and started cracking them apart. "I apologize for my brother. He isn't normally like that."

"Nah, it's alright," Mathias said over a mouthful of peanuts. "In fact, it's actually kinda cute."

"How so?" Clyde raised an eyebrow.

"Well, he's really protective of you and you guys seem to have a good relationship… that's always important." Denmark muttered the last part but Clyde still heard it.

 _I remember_ , Mathias thought while staring at the half empty bag, _that some owners thought it would be funny to pit Iceland and Norway against each other._ He didn't notice a frown growing on his face. _After they fought, Iceland would lock himself in his room for days at a time and Norway would hide away in some room of the house, reading about spells or whatever, and when anyone tried to talk to him he would lash out at them verbally._

Mathias shook his head.

 _That was the girl before Clyde. I don't remember her name or what she looked like, FMB took care of that, but I do remember what she did. I remember her actions and how she treated us… as if we weren't even people… It was shit._

 _I really hope Clyde's different._

"Mathias," Clyde called softly.

He snapped to attention.

"Oh, sorry about that, little bro." Mathias gave her a closed eye grin. "Just lost in my thoughts."

Clyde nodded even though she knew he was lying to her.

 _I know he may not trust me,_ she thought with a blank expression. _I understand that. And I know he's been through some stuff. But he's here now, and to some extent… my responsibility. I need to show him that I'm here for him, no matter what. Because I've seen those hurt eyes before, I saw them for quite some time. Right now he needs someone who's just there for him._

Clyde took out the room key from her pocket and slid it across to him. When she next spoke, it was with a smile.

"Welcome to the CM Inn, big brother."


End file.
